I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
