She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
