booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
