How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
