Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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