1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
