He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
