Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
