lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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