i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
