thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
