So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I deserve this hangover.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
