quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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