I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
