she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
then he tried to convert me to islam
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize