Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
