So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Found the puke drawer
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
