I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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