East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
