I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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