I'm gonna have a badass scar
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
