Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
