belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
