i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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