Dignity is for republicans.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
