the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
