what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
