Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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