You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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