life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I want to be your penis for a week.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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