we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
