I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
