Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
