Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
