Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
