some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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