You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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