i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize