they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
