Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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