I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
