I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
