I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is my gift to your gina
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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