I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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