i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
