u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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