The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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