he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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