I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Houston, we have a blender
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
