remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize