your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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