i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i dont even know how to be here
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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