check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
