This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
