Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it's like heaven, but drunker
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
