Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
