Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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